EST. 2007
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-Warning Signs of an Abuser

-In the Mind of the Abuser

-Patterns of Emotional Abuse

-Patterns of Physical Abuse

-Patterns of Sexual Abuse

-Social Supports for Abuse

-A Comparison of the Cycles of
Violence

-The Cycle of Domestic Violence

-Domestic Violence And Pregnancy

-How Survivors Cope

-Co-Dependent or Abused

-The Separation Cycle

-Words Are Powerful

-Is He Really Going To Change This
Time?

-Safety
While the majority of survivors
are women, men can also be
victims. For the sake of
simplicity, we refer to the
victim/survivor as “she” and the
perpetrator/abuser as “he”
.
Educate
Facts on Domestic Violence, Signs and Education altogether.
Safely ESCAPE out of this
website, if the abuser walks into
the room. Please use a SAFE PC.
Delete you're cookies, web history
and back track/ delete your steps
.
ALL RIGHTS,  COPY RIGHTS OF THIS WEBSITE, IMAGES, DESIGNS, AND LOGOS ARE COPYRIGHTED AND RESERVED TO SURVIVORS REUNITE OF OREGON AND SHANNON VALDEZ 2007-2016
WEBSITE DESIGNED BY
WWW.VALDEZGRAPHICDESIGN.COM
O
O
c
c
SUPPORT and click
SUPPORT or DONATE
to HELP PUBLISH our
educational Book
base on a true story.
Here:
SUPPORT and
"LIKE" our FB
FAN PAGE here:
The MORE you know, the more you are better to HELP, PROTECT and
SAVE yours or both yours and your kids lives or lives of another.
While the majority of survivors
are women, men can also be
victims. For the sake of
simplicity, we refer to the
victim/survivor as “she” and the
perpetrator/abuser as “he”
.
Educate
Facts on Domestic Violence, Signs and Education altogether.
Safely ESCAPE out of this
website, if the abuser walks into
the room. Please use a SAFE PC.
Delete you're cookies, web history
and back track/ delete your steps
.
ALL RIGHTS,  COPY RIGHTS OF THIS WEBSITE, IMAGES, DESIGNS, AND LOGOS ARE COPYRIGHTED AND RESERVED TO SURVIVORS REUNITE OF OREGON AND SHANNON VALDEZ 2007-2016
WEBSITE DESIGNED BY
WWW.VALDEZGRAPHICDESIGN.COM
O
O
c
c
SUPPORT and click
SUPPORT or DONATE
to HELP PUBLISH our
educational Book
base on a true story.
Here:
SUPPORT and
"LIKE" our FB
FAN PAGE here:
The MORE you know, the more you are better to HELP, PROTECT and
SAVE yours or both yours and your kids lives or lives of another.
While the majority of survivors
are women, men can also be
victims. For the sake of
simplicity, we refer to the
victim/survivor as “she” and the
perpetrator/abuser as “he”
.
A Comparison of the Cycles of Violence

Victims of domestic violence often suffer not only from the effects of physical or verbal abuse from
their partners but also from “well meaning” individuals who make statements that can be hurtful.
Without realizing what they are saying, friends, relatives or acquaintances may actually end up
blaming the victim for the abuse. Any statement that takes the focus off of the abuser and places it on
the victim is very damaging. Examples of this are: “Why doesn’t she just leave?” or “What did she do
to make him mad?”

Another example of victim blaming is embedded within the well-publicized Tension Building Explosion
Model of the Cycle of Violence developed by Lenore Walker in 1979. This theory does not provide an
accurate understanding of what may precede a “domestic violence occurrence” and what a family may
experience in the aftermath of the abuse.

The following is an explanation of the Tension Building Explosion Model and what the Mid-Valley
Women’s Crisis Service refers to as The Cycle of Violence.

Tension Building/Explosion Model

In 1979, Lenore Walker, author of The Battered Woman, developed the Tension Building/Explosion
Model of the Cycle of Violence. Walker based her cycle on research conducted on 120 battered
women. The Tension Building/Explosion cycle has been used since that time in countless books and
articles to indicate what is happening in the lives of abused women. The Tension Building/Explosion
Model involves three stages:
•Tension Building Phase
During the tension building phase the abuser becomes more temperamental and critical of the victim.
As the tension escalates, the victim feels as if she is “walking on eggshells.” The victim may try to
placate the abuser to prevent the abuse.
•Acute Explosive Phase
The abuser verbally or physically attacks the victim. This is much more intense than during the
tension building phase and may increase in intensity with each explosive phase.
•The Honeymoon Phase
The batterer expresses remorse over his behavior and promises to change. The batterer is charming
and may offer gifts such as flowers, jewelry, perfume and candy.

Concern About Impact of Tension Building/Explosion Model

By 1983, women working in the Anti-violence Movement realized the Tension Building /Explosion
model was flawed. Abusers do not harm their intimate partners because of tension and stress. As
humans, each of us feels stress and tension in our lives and yet, we do not make the choice to abuse
someone else. If it were a matter of tension the abusive person would be unable to control his
behavior and would batter whoever was causing the stress (i.e., the boss who yells at him or police
officers who pull him over, etc.) Also abusers would not be able to control where their punches
landed. Many abusers “target punch” their partners - specifically targeting areas where the bruises
and marks are less likely to be seen - the neck, back, upper torso and legs.

The Tension Building/Explosion Model may also be used to blame the victim for the abuse. If she
would just keep the children quieter or keep the house clean there would be less stress in the
household. It becomes the victim’s responsibility to keep the abuse from happening. Due to our
socialization process, it is common for women in our society to feel responsible for making a
relationship “work” and the Tension Building/Explosion Model of the Cycle of Violence only feeds into
those stereotypes.

Since 1983, advocates for women who are abused have found the cycle presented in the next topic to
be a more accurate representation of what occurs when someone chooses to be violent.