Educate
Facts on Domestic Violence, Signs and Education altogether.
Safely ESCAPE out of this
website, if the abuser walks into
the room. Please use a SAFE PC.
Delete you're cookies, web history
and back track/ delete your steps
.
ALL RIGHTS,  COPY RIGHTS OF THIS WEBSITE, IMAGES, DESIGNS, AND LOGOS ARE COPYRIGHTED AND RESERVED TO SURVIVORS REUNITE OF OREGON AND SHANNON VALDEZ 2007-2016
WEBSITE DESIGNED BY
WWW.VALDEZGRAPHICDESIGN.COM
O
O
c
c
SUPPORT and click
SUPPORT or DONATE
to HELP PUBLISH our
educational Book
base on a true story.
Here:
SUPPORT and
"LIKE" our FB
FAN PAGE here:
The MORE you know, the more you are better to HELP, PROTECT and
SAVE yours or both yours and your kids lives or lives of another.
While the majority of survivors
are women, men can also be
victims. For the sake of
simplicity, we refer to the
victim/survivor as “she” and the
perpetrator/abuser as “he”
.
The Separation Cycle

When a woman leaves her abuser, the abuser goes through a process of emotions and behaviors
that is quite predictable. This is the separation process:

Indifference

At first, the abuser says such things as, “Go ahead and leave. I don’t care. I’ve got lots of women after
me. I don’t need you.”

Manipulative “Anger”

Now the abuser shows his “anger”. Abusers are no angrier than anyone else. Anger is a tool abusers
use to gain and maintain control. If there are children in the family, for instance, he may claim his
outrage is because the survivor is keeping the children from him and “I demand the right to see my
kids!”

Manipulative Courting

The abuser tries to hook the victim back into the relationship - and succeeds in more than a few
cases. The abuser begins to court the survivor again, perhaps with a trip down memory lane:
“Remember when we met?’ “Remember when the baby was born?” He also promises to change: ‘I’ll
quit drinking.” “I’ll get counseling.” He won’t discuss his choice to use abuse; he will talk only about
past good times and the promise of good times to come. He says he wants her back.

Defaming the Survivor

He tells lies about the survivor to everyone who knows her. His goal is to isolate her socially and to
wipe out any support she might have among friends and family. Many times, the woman does not
know about the lies. One of the most common lies is that the woman was having an affair, a lie that he
can use to justify his violent behavior.

Renewed Manipulative “Anger”

Once he recognizes the survivor is not coming back to him, he renews his manipulative “anger”. The
victim may be in danger. The abuser is more likely to carry out threats he made during the
relationship and earlier in the separation cycle.

What You Can Do

If any of this applies to you see the Safety and Protection for more information on how to keep
yourself and your children as safe as possible.
EST. 2007
Educate
Facts on Domestic Violence, Signs and Education altogether.
Safely ESCAPE out of this
website, if the abuser walks into
the room. Please use a SAFE PC.
Delete you're cookies, web history
and back track/ delete your steps
.
SUPPORT and click
SUPPORT or DONATE
to HELP PUBLISH our
educational Book
base on a true story.
Here:
SUPPORT and
"LIKE" our FB
FAN PAGE here:
The MORE you know, the more you are better to HELP, PROTECT and
SAVE yours or both yours and your kids lives or lives of another.
PLEASE CLICK ONTO A
RESOURCE
:

-Warning Signs of an Abuser

-In the Mind of the Abuser

-Patterns of Emotional Abuse

-Patterns of Physical Abuse

-Patterns of Sexual Abuse

-Social Supports for Abuse

-A Comparison of the Cycles of
Violence

-The Cycle of Domestic Violence

-Domestic Violence And Pregnancy

-How Survivors Cope

-Co-Dependent or Abused

-The Separation Cycle

-Words Are Powerful

-Is He Really Going To Change This
Time?

-Safety
While the majority of survivors
are women, men can also be
victims. For the sake of
simplicity, we refer to the
victim/survivor as “she” and the
perpetrator/abuser as “he”
.
Educate
Facts on Domestic Violence, Signs and Education altogether.
Safely ESCAPE out of this
website, if the abuser walks into
the room. Please use a SAFE PC.
Delete you're cookies, web history
and back track/ delete your steps
.
ALL RIGHTS,  COPY RIGHTS OF THIS WEBSITE, IMAGES, DESIGNS, AND LOGOS ARE COPYRIGHTED AND RESERVED TO SURVIVORS REUNITE OF OREGON AND SHANNON VALDEZ 2007-2016
WEBSITE DESIGNED BY
WWW.VALDEZGRAPHICDESIGN.COM
O
O
c
c
SUPPORT and click
SUPPORT or DONATE
to HELP PUBLISH our
educational Book
base on a true story.
Here:
SUPPORT and
"LIKE" our FB
FAN PAGE here:
The MORE you know, the more you are better to HELP, PROTECT and
SAVE yours or both yours and your kids lives or lives of another.
While the majority of survivors
are women, men can also be
victims. For the sake of
simplicity, we refer to the
victim/survivor as “she” and the
perpetrator/abuser as “he”
.
The Separation Cycle

When a woman leaves her abuser, the abuser goes through a process of emotions and behaviors
that is quite predictable. This is the separation process:

Indifference

At first, the abuser says such things as, “Go ahead and leave. I don’t care. I’ve got lots of women after
me. I don’t need you.”

Manipulative “Anger”

Now the abuser shows his “anger”. Abusers are no angrier than anyone else. Anger is a tool abusers
use to gain and maintain control. If there are children in the family, for instance, he may claim his
outrage is because the survivor is keeping the children from him and “I demand the right to see my
kids!”

Manipulative Courting

The abuser tries to hook the victim back into the relationship - and succeeds in more than a few
cases. The abuser begins to court the survivor again, perhaps with a trip down memory lane:
“Remember when we met?’ “Remember when the baby was born?” He also promises to change: ‘I’ll
quit drinking.” “I’ll get counseling.” He won’t discuss his choice to use abuse; he will talk only about
past good times and the promise of good times to come. He says he wants her back.

Defaming the Survivor

He tells lies about the survivor to everyone who knows her. His goal is to isolate her socially and to
wipe out any support she might have among friends and family. Many times, the woman does not
know about the lies. One of the most common lies is that the woman was having an affair, a lie that he
can use to justify his violent behavior.

Renewed Manipulative “Anger”

Once he recognizes the survivor is not coming back to him, he renews his manipulative “anger”. The
victim may be in danger. The abuser is more likely to carry out threats he made during the
relationship and earlier in the separation cycle.

What You Can Do

If any of this applies to you see the Safety and Protection for more information on how to keep
yourself and your children as safe as possible.